Rogue
by Damnedchick
Summary: Faith is the epitome of a wild card, and everyone wants a piece of her. Set in the 3rd Season, during Choices. Fuffy. Please R&R.
1. Prologue

Rogue

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**Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the **_**Buffy the Vampire Slayer**_** characters, nor any of the **_**Angel**_** characters. They, and some of the dialogue are owned and created by Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.**

**Rating: PG-13**

**A/N: Only my 2****nd**** fic, so please bear with me.**

**Spoilers: This occurs at the trading scene in Choices, when Faith and Wilkins were about to leave the school, with a little bit of AU thrown in…Okay, a lot.**

**Summary: Faith is the epitome of a wild card, and everyone wants a piece of her. Set in the 3****rd**** Season, during Choices. Fuffy. Please R&R.**

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Prologue  
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"That's enough Faith."

She freezes in the middle of her step, turns back around and stares at the owner of the voice with what can only be described as urgency in her brown eyes. Her heart is thumping so hard and loud that she was sure everyone can hear it. She was sweating bullets, and she was sure everyone noticed. She knew how important all of this was, and she always jumped at the chance to be part of something important.

To be a part of anything.

The atmosphere was filled with tension and confusion. The words were too sure and confident to have come from the bumbling idiot who called himself a watcher.

But it did.

The arrogant stuck up watcher who was said to have only ever slain a vampire in a 'controlled situation'. The oblivious fool who knew everything about slayers, yet nothing about the girls behind them.

"Tch. Fuck you English boy."

So sure and confident. No trace of a tremor.

Inside, she was a quivering mass of nervousness. Everything was on the line. Everything was on her.

"No. I mean it. It's alright. You can stop now."

And did he _not_ just see the message so clear in her eyes?

They had just traded the Box of Gavrok for the red-headed witch, and just when Faith and the Mayor were about to leave, the watcher stepped up and called on her.

'_No, its not fucking alright! I need time. Dammit, this wasn't part of the stupid ass plan.'_

As the group waited for the next biting response from the young slayer, nobody noticed the subtle gesture from their main 'Big Bad', which signaled the 50 or so ominous silhouettes to creep up the windows.

Confusion was even more palpable, and everyone was questioning the sanity of the newbie watcher. Still, none of them dared to say anything.

"Faithy? What is he talking about? Stop what?"

The kindest voice she has ever heard in her life. Even kinder than the saint that was her watcher. Her _only_ watcher. As she looked into his frustratingly polite eyes, she didn't see the suspicion she expected. Instead, all she saw was amusement.

Amusement. Laughter. Humor.

The watcher was nothing but proud and smug. The young slayer however, was screaming inside. Thinking desperately of ways to salvage her rapidly slipping façade.

"Well, Mayor Wilkins, it seems that you have been cleverly fooled by our-"

"Shut the fuck up Wesley!"

She gripped the box in her arms harder.

Panic was pulsating through her veins. She wasn't surprised to hear the creak of the door, signifying the reason of her concealed distress. Several vampires stepped in, each holding different kinds of cruel weapons. The silhouettes on the windows showed that there were more vampires outside.

More than she knew they could ever handle.

"Mr. Wyndham-Pryce, was it?"

Still always polite.

"Y-Yes, that is correct."

Not so smug anymore.

"Fooled by what?"

He glanced at the young slayer then, still nothing but amusement in his eyes.

And the young watcher knew there was no use in lying.

"W-well, fooled by our extremely clever ruse! Faith is not, nor has ever been on _your_ side. She is a spy for the council. It was all a strategic ploy to sabotage your evil plan. It was, of course, all my-"

"WHAT?!"

Her disbelief was almost painful. Her hazel eyes almost bulged out of their sockets. She was flabbergasted, as they were all, by this unexpected development. After all the betrayal, she couldn't believe that there was still more.

Still more pain.

She turned her desperate eyes to her trusted watcher. Pleading him to make everything right as rain again.

To make everything black and white again.

"Giles?…Did you-..?"

"No Buffy. I knew nothing of this."

He was beyond furious. Beyond enraged. Beyond confused.

The spark in his eyes could only ever have belonged to a savage named Ripper. His glare was cold and unwavering. Wesley however, couldn't spare a flinch through the satisfaction in his eyes. The fact that he 'outsmarted' the legendary Rupert Giles gave him such pride he had never known before.

"Of course not! This is strictly Council ma-"

"You pompous pillock!"

"How _dare _you-"

"You endangered _all_ our lives-"

"address me that way! I am a very competent watcher which is-"

"needlessly and you gave no regard for the well being of your-"

"more than I can say for you! I don't understand _why_ you're still-"

"charge! You have _no_ idea of the repercussions that could have-"

An ominous chuckle stopped them.

"Well well, isn't all of this very interesting?"

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	2. Chapter One

**A/N:** Thank you so much to all those who reviewed the prologue, this is for you guys because you're all so cool! And yes, I do wanna shoot Wesley, but I sorta can't 'cause he somewhat important to the story, but don't worry, he'll get his eventually. Again, than you for the reviews.  
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**Chapter One**

His voice was so forgiving that it chilled Faith's bones. Her frozen stance never moved an inch. Her hands were still gripping the Box of Gavrok. Her hard earned prize. She didn't dare speak. The fear and uncertainty was crawling through her skin. Every little doubt was eating away at her insides. She looked up at who she thought was the only person in Sunnydale who truly cared about her. His eyes were soft, and still so fucking amused that it made her want to puke.

Suffice to say, she's never felt like this before.

The one person who never made her feel like a failure, was the so called 'Big Bad' she was supposed to screw over. While the people who gave up on her were the people she was supposed to answer to.

The confusion was almost too much to take.

'_Thanks a lot Wesley, you fucking idiot.'_

She hadn't expected for him to step out and reveal their little ploy. She didn't know that she would be forced to choose so early.

The mayor had given her things she never thought she'd have. He was considerate and thoughtful. He never expected her to do things she didn't want to. He took care of her. What had the scoobies given her? Several annoying headaches. And a whole lot of heartbreak.

They treated her like a spare slayer they could call on and use, without any regard for the lost little girl that lived alone in a crappy motel.

What Wesley offered was a last ditch effort to be something good. He followed her to the docks the night they found out about her _accident_, he approached her after the slayers' run in with Mr. Trick. Told her about his _brilliant_ plan, complete with schedules and graphs, and had the audacity to say it was her last chance, when they never gave her a first chance in the first place.

Now she doesn't know what to do. The feeling set so heavy in heart, felt like choices.

The right or the good?

The right choice, the choice every good little slayer would take. Would be the choice, she's sure, holier than thou Buffy Summers would take.

Or the good choice. The good life, with the surrogate parent, the playstation, the cool apartment and the ever-present adoration. Something she's tasted only briefly before. Something she never imagined she could ever taste again.

"I…I'm sorry."

And she was. Absolutely, terribly sorry.

So sorry to be in this position, where no matter which side she takes, someone will get hurt. Because even though Faith is a reckless badass, she's never meant for anyone to get hurt. So sorry for Alan Finch. So sorry for ever coming to Sunny-fucking-dale. So sorry for the reason she _had_ to run to Sunny-fucking-dale.

Mayor Richard Wilkins regarded the young slayer. Her tenacious spirit was what drew him. The strength and the desperate vitality of this broken little girl, who had so much potential to be something so great.

This confused child who still hasn't made up her mind.

"Ah, but the question is my dear Firecracker, sorry to _whom?_"

They looked at each other then, the surrogate father and daughter. Gauging just how much each other knew. Faith was caught off guard by the casual question, he sounded like he knew more than he let on.

She gripped the box tighter.

"I don't-…you…you knew, didn't you?"

It was more of a statement than a question, and it sounded like defeat to all of them. Faith felt utterly played.

Again.

"Well of course I did, I'm the mayor after all, I know everything."

"But, if you knew, all along…then why didn't you…"

Her throat constricted painfully, a part of her wanted to scream until she can't breathe, and another part of her needed so desperately to cry. The scoobies watch the exchange in twisted fascination, most of them has never seen Faith so…young.

"You are very powerful Faith, more than anyone in this room realizes. And what makes you so powerful is not because you're a slayer, but because you're lost. You have no real cause, you live simply to fight and survive, any way you can."

What was so frightening, was that it was all so true. Faith was born into a life she had to fight for. Everyday was spent trying to survive, trying to exist. She had none of the luxuries, and all of the burdens a child should never have to carry. Her mother might not have been the worst, but her alcoholism damaged Faith's childhood beyond repair, her father however, is someone both mother and daughter would love to be able to forget. Faith's mother died long before her watcher found her, she spent the years in between trying to fit in the families the social services sent her to…and failed miserably. And while she seemingly flaunts it now, her beautiful looks attracted some unwanted attention when she was still…defenseless.

The only salvation she ever had was that was a potential. She ran away from her appointed family of the month, and wandered around trying to find….something…anything. Fortunately she found it, or rather, _she_ found _her_. Her watcher found her at a very crucial point in her life, and Faith knew, that if she wasn't a potential, she would be…well, she would _rather_ have been dead by now.

She's never fought for anything other than that because it gives her a purpose. The world has never been particularly kind to her, and it has never been something she was so enthused to save.

"You have nothing to fight for Faith, not yet at least. You have the ability to tip the balance to either side. You are, in every essence, a true rogue."

And she really was. The question is, which side wants her the most?

"Even _I_ won't be so arrogant to say that I know what you've been through, how hard you've had it, but I _do_ know what you're looking for Faith. And I know we can give each other whatever we need."

He said all this with that sickeningly polite smile that he always carries. He was obviously trying to win her over, and everyone saw it.

Except for Faith.

"I…"

She was blinded by a desperate need. A need to find a certain comfort, similar to the one she shared with her watcher. She knew the first time she met the scoobies that she'd never find it with them. They were taken with her, but not the way she wanted. They were impressed by the things she's done and the stories she's told. And that scared her. She was scared of the disappointment she was so sure they'd feel with her. Disappointment of the things she's done with the stories she hasn't said. More importantly, she was scared of the disgust she was sure they'd feel if they knew what her life has been, with the stories she could never repeat.

So she steered away from them when she thought appropriate. She didn't push them away, for they weren't _really_ even trying, were they? It was no one's fault, they didn't know, and part of her never wanted them to.

Then came Gwendolyn Post. The woman with the no non-sense attitude that practically forced her way into Faith's life. And Faith let her, just because Post didn't have any preamble with who she _thought_ Faith was. The judgment that Faith hated so much wasn't present, and she fell for it.

Gwendolyn Post crushed whatever was left of Faith's trust.

"Faith, give me the box. Your job is done now."

Post also ignited the anger Faith had with the council.

"Come on now…"

Wesley gestured imperiously with his hand, making her feel like such a lapdog.

"Oh shut up."

Rupert Giles stepped up, he finally understood what was happening. He finally understood the importance of this moment.

"Faith, would you please step over here, with us?"

His tone was as gentle as it could be, in spite of his burning anger for the utter fool Wesley has been. Wesley, for his part, simply remained quiet. He was all too glad to let someone else take initiative. The scoobies were all silent as well, just waiting for what will happen next. Their golden slayer however, was still more than confused. This whole revelation turned her world upside down. She was torn on whether to cry out of frustration, or out of relief.

Relief that Faith was still with them. With her.

"Now now Faith, you know better."

His polite tone was still just that, polite. Even when his words were obviously full of threat.

Faith faltered from the step she hasn't taken. The words he promised was still ringing in her ears, in her heart.

"He is _evil_ Faith, don't let his words beguile you."

'_Evil. Do I care?'_

Evil and Good. She's lived in both sides in her life so much, that she doesn't know the right and wrong of one from the other anymore. All she knows is the polite man who cared so much about her. And the people who seemingly didn't.

She made her choice.

"I'm-…"

"Nobody moves!"

And of course, Principal Snyder just happened to barge in. 

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	3. Chapter Two

**A/N: **Thank you so much for all those who reviewed. Your kind words inspire me. You guys are awesome.

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**Chapter Two  
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The Mayor stepped back into the shadows and signaled for the vampires to leave as Snyder advanced. Two policemen entered, oblivious to the vampires, and locked the doors behind them. Everyone internally groaned at the principal's abhorrent timing. Faith however, internally sighed with relief, not wanting to be the center of attention a moment longer.

"I knew you kids were up to something. "

"Snyder, get out of here."

"You're not giving orders, young lady. I suppose you're going to tell me I won't find drugs in this box."

He pointed imperiously at Buffy Summers. He was overjoyed at the chance of finally catching the elusive blonde red handed once and for all. He strode over to where Faith was standing, in the middle of the room. He grabbed the box from her while Faith, at a loss for what to do, just let him.

"Principal Snyder."

The principal turned at the mayor's voice, and absently handed the box to one of the policemen.

"Mr. Mayor, I had no idea you…I'm terribly sorry."

"No, it's I who should apologize. Coming down here at night. What must you be thinking? But you see I just needed to…"

Behind Snyder, one of the policemen opened the box.

"No! Don't do that!"

The mayor's warning was too late. A spidery creature leapt out of the box onto the policeman's face, and he started screaming. He tried to pry the spider off his face, but he couldn't. In just a few seconds, he dropped to the floor and stopped moving. It happened so fast that no one moved to interfere. The creature scurried off into the darkness. The scoobies shifted positions, readying themselves and searching for the creature.

"Oh God."

Wesley couldn't believe his eyes, couldn't believe his misfortune. The council didn't train him for this. Beside him, Xander, the group's supposed 'zeppo', had his eyes glancing at every corner vigilantly.

"Where did it go?"

Snyder was scared beyond his annoying wits. He gestured franticly to the remaining cop.

"Get that door open!"

"No! You can't let that thing out of here!" Giles couldn't even imagine the utter chaos that could happen if the creature ever got out. If it was hard enough to capture in a room, he didn't want to have to find it loose in a whole town.

The policeman fumbled with his keys and dropped them.

"I still want to know where it went."

They were all shifting restlessly. The horror of the policeman's quick death was a nightmare no one wanted to experience. Hearts were beating rapidly, and eyes were darting everywhere. The earlier stand off with Faith and her alliance was temporarily forgotten.

The golden slayer stepped up.

"Listen."

And they did. They heard a skittering noise up the ceiling, they all looked up, searching frantically. The spider suddenly dropped onto the Mayor's face, and he fell backwards on the floor.

"Boss!"

Faith rushed to his aid, pulled the spider off and flung it to a wall. It righted itself and skittered away yet again. The watchers stepped up onto chairs, and while everyone was looking at the Mayor, a second spider crept out of the box. The Mayor sat up, and all watched stunned as his wounds faded away into nothing.

He looked at the box in annoyance.

"Wouldn't leave that open."

Buffy hurried to slam the box on the third spider trying to escape. The second spider dropped onto her back while she was still crouched, she quickly flipped onto her back and crushed it with her weight against the floor. Faith focused all of her senses on the other skittering around her. She saw the spider crawling on the wall behind Wesley. She took the knife out of her jacket and drew back her arm. Wesley saw her.

Faith twitched her head to the floor, signaling Wesley to duck. He did so wordlessly, and she snapped her knife to the spider, killing it.

"Is that all of them?" Oz asked, standing near Willow.

"Ah, not really. You see, there's about fifty... billion of these happy little critters in here. Would you like to see?" The mayor slowly stood up, dusting his suit off and straightening himself.

Buffy stepped towards the civilians. "Snyder, you alive in there?"

"You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" He answered with a wild look in his twitchy eyes.

The cop finally got the door open, and he ran out with Snyder right behind him cautiously waving a chair around.

The mayor turned to Faith, gave her one of his warmest smiles, and chuckled his famous well-mannered chuckle.

"Well well, wasn't all that exciting?"

Faith stared at him, for seemingly an eternity, studying the warmth in his eyes.

'_No one can fake that. Demon or no demon, he really _does_ care about me.'_

She looked at the Scoobies then, and she caught the ever-present disbelief and the lingering confusion.

'_Is it really that hard to believe that I can be good?'_

Something tingled in the back of her mind. Something shifted inside of her. A wayward thought has just planted itself in her subconscious, proof of where her soul truly sides. Her heart made a choice before the protests of her memories could be heard.

All that was left, was for the game to be played.

"Faith? Will you step here with us now?"

Giles tried again, he couldn't bear the thought of letting her go back, now that he knew the truth. He never even imagined that she was playing double agent because he so readily believed that she was truly _bad_. Shame gripped his heart when he remembered how easily he gave up on her. He realized now that he never truly gave her much thought, because he thought he knew what she was going through. He remembered his Ripper days, rebelling against authority figures and breaking rules left and right. All in the sake of acting like a badass, and being admired by his peers. He thought that it was the same with Faith. And had it been as simple as that, they wouldn't even be in this stand-off. Faith's rebellion was much more complicated, much more painful. It was a deep-seated rage that burned through her whole being.

He thought that it should've stopped with Alan Finch. Finch should've been the wake up call that shook Faith's badass walls, and make her finally grow up. After all, that's what happened to him when he and Ethan Rayne killed a man.

But it didn't. And she didn't.

And he gave up on her.

It more than shook her world. It almost destroyed her universe. And she shook all _their_ worlds when she tried to strangle Xander, tried to steal Angel's soul, tried to torture Buffy, then held Willow at knife point.

But it was all a fluke. It wasn't real. Because Faith truly _was_ the best actor in the world. _She_ played all of _them_.

And now Giled has another chance. It could've been called selfish, but Giles couldn't let the chance of redeeming himself go.

"Faith, we're leaving. Let's go."

Unfortunately, there was still the Mayor to consider.

"Faith, please, stay with us."

He knew he sounded like he was pleading, but he didn't care. She deserved everything he could give. If it weren't for all their mistakes, she wouldn't even be in this position.

Faith however, has already made her choice.

The Scooby gang watched in helpless silence as Faith started to walk towards the mayor. The thud of her heavy boots echoed in the room. The tension mounting in all of their shoulders as Faith walked away from them. What the hell happened? Wasn't she supposed to be on _their_ side now? What made her leave again?

One of them couldn't take the guilt in her heart anymore.

"Wait!"

Faith halted, tensing her shoulders and preparing herself for a scathing comment. Her fists clenched with the memory of hitting soft skin.

"I-I…uh…I'm really sorry…about what I said to you. I didn't mean it. Well, I _did_ mean it but only because I thought you were a murdering psychopath, but now I know you're not! B-Because you're a doubly agent slayer, and so you _do_ deserve a second chance, because you're on our side, unless you're not anymore? Which in that case then I still meant what I said."

The babble finally ceased, and a huge gulp of oxygen was breathed in.

A chuckle broke through. And this time it was nowhere near polite.

"Nope. You got it the first time Red. I _am_ a murdering psychopath."

She turned to face the young witch, and gave her the most malicious of glares. The emotion in Faith's eyes was harsher than any look Willow's ever been faced before. Scarier than the look she encountered when she was Nancy Drew-ing with the Books of Ascension, because now, now this look was _real_. It was worse than anger, because it was raw, pure, pain. The red-headed witch couldn't help but feel the guilt of hurting someone who was secretly on _their_ side. And she felt the shame of pushing Faith away, and possibly causing her to _truly_ turn against them.

Faith turned from the witch, and didn't bother to spare a glance at the rest of the Scoobies, nor the flabbergasted young watcher that still could not dare speak.

The rogue slayer walked up to the Mayor's side, and they left together. The double doors creaked behind the two figures, and eventually the vampire shadows also left.

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	4. Chapter Three

**A/N:** Thank you guys for the awesome comments and reviews. Some of your insights sparked some ideas in me for the future chapters, so thank you for your time and your words. ( ;

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**Chapter Three**

Rupert Giles sighed like he never sighed before, and turned to glare at Wesley Wyndham-Price. The young watcher pointedly ignored him, and stood as straight as he could.

"Well, that went swimmingly."

Giles opened his mouth to speak but before he could say a word, the blonde slayer stepped up to Wesley, clenched his collar, and slammed him onto a table. The sound of impact made Giles flinch.

"You! This is all _your_ fault! What the hell were you _thinking?_"

The vehemence in her voice was surprising to the others, they have never heard this much venom come from the blonde slayer. The young watcher squirmed beneath her grasp, frightened beyond his wits.

"I-I was thinking about the welfare of the whole world! As _I_ was the only one who _always_ did!"

Alas, his fear did not abate his annoying righteousness.

"The welfare of the world? The _welfare_ of the _world_? You were thinking about impressing your precious Council, you asshole!"

"Buffy, let him go."

Buffy took a deep breath and did as her watcher requested. She shoved the young watcher away from the table. The watcher straightened himself up, dusted off his suit and puffed up his chest.

"It was a perfectly viable plan. It was all going well, until tonight. I suppose she made her choice, it wasn't my fault that she ultimately turned to the dark side."

Giles had had enough. He rounded on the young watcher and shouted his fury.

"You twit! Don't you realize that pushing Faith _into_ the dark side to play spy for _you_ might have had _some_ bearing in the choice she made tonight? You irresponsibly thrust her into the influence of the _one_ person whose influence we should have been protecting her _from_!"

But Wesley refused to back down. Refused to be wronged.

"She's a slayer! Its her _job_ to confront evil! If she can't handle the temptations of evil, then I suppose she belongs there, with him!"

The next thing he knew was nothing, for all he saw was darkness.

"Whoah G-man. I never figured you for the sucker punch type. Nice."

"Thank you Xander, that was quite satisfying, if I may say so. But please don't call me that."

And just for a fleeting moment, the tension seemed to lessen. The brooding vampire in the corner moved to stand near the immobile slayer, touching her shoulder in an affectionate gesture.

"Buffy? Are you okay?"

His voice was as gentle as it always was.

"I'm fine. Good. Peachy."

The truth was apparent in her rigid stance, her slumped shoulders, her stricken eyes, her shaking fists. But the worst was one that was not apparent. Her broken heart.

"What do we do? Giles?"

She turned from Angel and addressed her trusted watcher.

"We reconvene tomorrow morning, plan as best we could."

"I think I have something that can help with the planning."

Willow showed him the pages of the Books of Ascension, wearing a smug smile. Giles' eyes sparked alight like a child at Christmas morning, happy to have his hands on a piece of legend.

But someone wasn't the least bit happy.

"No Giles. What do we do about _Faith_?"

Her voice cracked on the name, and unexpected tears started to form in her usually strong eyes.

"Buffy… We don't know what Wesley and Faith were planning, but whatever it was, its too late now. Faith made her choice clear."

He tried to placate her, his cold touch reaching to wipe her fallen tears.

"No Angel, it can't be too late." She shrugged him off and ranted hysterically like no one would expect from her.

"It can't be, something went wrong tonight. You heard what they said, Faith was playing double, a-and then she left, she left with him. But it can't be too late, because you can't say that you're evil and then say that you're not, that you're with us but just leave again, without giving me the chance, the chance… the chance to…"

"The chance to what Buffy?"

His brown eyes were trying to understand. Trying to deal with the thoughts that were running through his head. The pain that was suddenly gripping his un-beating heart.

"To have her with me."

The words fell from her lips without much thought. Like her heart spoke them quickly before her mind could hope to censor it. Her eyes snapped up and took in the surprised faces of her friends. Her eyes widened with disbelief at her own words, at the pounding of her heart.

"Buffy?"

His hurt was apparent. And for the first time in a long time, he truly felt dead.

"No! That's not what I-… I meant that we never had the chance to…to have her in our side again. Because we never even knew that she _was_…on our side."

"Buffy's right. Our negligence helped lead her to this path. We have to fight for her. I refuse to give up on Faith a second time."

He was angrily berating himself for his pitiful try of getting _her_ to stay with them. A part of him knew it was only a half-hearted attempt, the few words he uttered wouldn't have even convinced _him_ if he was in her place. The other part of him didn't want to admit what a fool he'd been to have let all of this go on under his nose. The biggest part of him however, is still just simply confused. He would never show it to them though, their own utter confusion must be more than enough to contend with. Still, he wished, more than anything, that he had done something more.

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief, and smiled in gratitude at her watcher. Xander casually stepped over the groaning figure of Wesley and put an arm around the blonde slayer, whilst trying to smile the biggest of smiles through the poignant tension in the room.

"So that's it then, we go be heroes, then we get the girl."

No one really knew the extent of the consequences of what was revealed tonight. Whether Faith's being a secret ally would automatically forgive the grief she gave them. She was an enigma that they all have their own issues with. When she seemingly turned to the Mayor, each of them erased their own hopes about her. But when they learned of her secret, a mere few minutes ago, it seemed like every casual little thought, every will that was wished, every feeling that was felt about her was utterly false.

Was it _all_ a lie?

The line between what was true and what was not blurred beyond recognition.

It was a conundrum of sorts that they had no hope of solving. At least not until Faith decided to have a heart to heart with them. They didn't care though, it was worth a try. _She_ was worth a try.

And if they had the energy to be honest with themselves, they would admit that she was worth more than just _a try_.

Oz reached for Willow's hand and squeezed his reassurance.

"As far as plans go, that's not half bad. Except without the actual planning."

Buffy looked to her best friend for support, and she wasn't surprised to find Willow's Resolve face. The red-head nodded at the slayer, giving all the support that she needed. They all looked at each other then. Understanding firm in their eyes. Conviction and courage set in their hearts.

They were gonna win. And they were gonna get the girl.

They had to.

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	5. Chapter Four

**A/N: **Hey guys, thanks again for all those reviews. I actually didn't like the last chapter very much, but I'm glad some of you seemed to like it. For those who hated it, I respect and appreciate your comments and opinion. Thank you everyone for taking the time to read and review, your few simple words make me jump up and do a happy dance.

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**Chapter Four**

Buffy strolled through the darkly lit cemetery with unmistakable fear in her eyes. But the fear was not about what lurked in the darkness or what the cemetery represented, far from it, but rather the fear of what was burning inside her heart. Angel was brooding like he never brooded before, and the hunch of his shoulders was almost painful. Although they were definitely two of the most formidable warriors on earth, to anyone who didn't know any better, they seemed weak and broken. The silence was unusually uncomfortable between them. The confrontation with Faith and the Mayor a few hours ago was unsettling to say the least, and they both have their issues to deal with. But what, or rather who they were thinking about were the same. Angel glanced at Buffy for the third time in the past minute, and she had had enough.

"What?"

She stopped and snapped at him, but he was nowhere near surprised.

"Maybe I should be asking _you_ that."

She immediately got flustered. She had none of the answers, and too afraid of the questions. She didn't want to start a conversation she wasn't ready to even think about, and she definitely wasn't ready to even _consider_ talking about it with Angel of all people.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I was just thinking of the Scooby meeting tomorrow."

"No you're not. Talk to me Buffy. Please."

He couldn't let it go, he had to know. The Mayor's speech about their relationship was all of the things he's already thought about. And he had to know, because if they even had the slightest chance of not working, he wanted to avoid further heartbreak, for both of them. It was selfish to push, but they both had to make a choice. It would hurt like hell if she couldn't be his girl anymore, but he would do the right thing.

He always did.

"I have nothing to talk about with you Angel. But please, pray tell, what do you think I'm thinking about?"

She rolled her eyes, and crossed her arms, daring him, challenging him. Trying to throw him off balance with the intimidation in her stance. Anything to steer off the topic he so desperately wanted to talk about.

Of course, it didn't work. Not with him.

"I think you're thinking about Faith."

He implored her with his gaze, pleading for the truth, and yet begging her to lie. And she melted at the sadness in his gaze. As she always did.

"Angel…"

But she just couldn't. Not yet. She loved him too much to hurt him. He was and will always be her first love. The question of whether he is still her _only_ love, is something she doesn't want to contemplate. Not too much anyway.

Buffy resented the dark slayer when they all thought she was with the Mayor. Her anger was more intense than she's ever felt before, and it confused her. And the confusion only fueled her anger. But when the truth was revealed that night, she felt relief far greater than any anger she once felt. Her heart was crushed without permission when they all watched Faith walk away. She felt utterly helpless when the chance she didn't even know she had was stolen from her. If she knew, if she just knew, that Faith was with them, with her, she would have fixed whatever needed fixing. She would have repaired whatever damage was done. She would have had Faith by her side. But she didn't know, and she spent all that time, growing and molding her anger, hating Faith for making a mistake, for almost strangling Xander, for trying to steal Angel's soul, for leaving _her _for the Mayor. And all that precious time, Faith was working harder than all of them, spying on pure evil, walking tall with the burden of all their hate, and answering to an annoying watcher.

But now, now Faith left them. _Truly_ left them. And the hope that lifted Buffy's soul was shattered immediately in the span of just a few moments. All she knows now is that she's back to square one.

There was just too much about Faith that she wanted to understand, and much more that she didn't want to.

So she definitely couldn't. Not yet. Maybe not ever, with him.

"I-I can't talk about Faith with you. Just please don't ask me to okay?"

It was a broken whisper that he couldn't ignore. And she directed her own imploring gaze at him, pleading him to stop. To stop making her unwittingly hurt him. He swallowed the harsh lump in his throat, and accepted this. Buffy has just made her choice clear, whether she realizes this or not.

"Okay Buffy."

So he prepared himself to make his own choice.

The plans they didn't make for the future flitted through his mind, through his un-beating heart. He thought about Buffy's life, and the happiness she could achieve if things worked out. Although he was never fond of contemplating the idea of Buffy having, _living_ a life with someone else, the thought has come up more than he wanted it to. This time, he thought of Buffy and the one person who could match her, who could complete her. And he couldn't help but feel sorry for the love of his un-dead life. Because things are never easy, and she just can't be happy.

At least not yet.

And he swore, and he promised, and he cursed himself, to making sure that Buffy finds the love and happiness she wants and needs. No matter how much it will surely hurt. Because that's what you do for someone you love beyond reason, beyond destiny. You grant them all the gifts you can possibly grant, even if in the end, you just know, she's not _your_ destiny.

With both their choices made, all they had to do now was to know it, to live it and to accept it.

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	6. Chapter Five

**A/N: **Sorry for the delayed update, but college just started for me. Needless to say I'll be busy. But I'll definitely try to update as soon as I can. Thank you so much again for all those comments, especially the constructive criticism. I know you're all probably missing Faith by now, but I promise the next chapter will be all about her. I'm still a little stuck on some chapters, so some ideas would be helpful. Thanks again everyone.

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**Chapter Five**

The air was hostile. He was beginning to get more than a little unnerved by the glares. Some part of him knew he deserved it and more, but a larger part of him still did not dare think that any of his actions were wrong. That he might have been at fault for exploiting the vulnerability of a young girl.

No.

He did not dare think that. He is a completely competent watcher, he passed the watcher licensure exam with flying colors, he was the first choice as watcher after the legendary Rupert Giles. How was he to know that the girl would be lured by the promises of evil?. In fact, _he_ was the victim. How dare _they_ accuse him of wrongdoing? If his father knew of this, he would not approve.

No. He would not approve at all.

It was _not_ his fault. Truly it wasn't.

"What else?"

He looked up at the man that he once admired. That admiration abruptly stopped as soon as he learned that his great hero got fired from the council. Now, he's merely become a nuisance to _his_ calling.

"That was all we discussed. What she did last night was of her own volition."

And it was. He did not expect it at all. And if he had a little less pride, he would admit that revealing their little ploy was not such a great idea, especially when he did it in front of the Big Bad himself.

"So last night, you didn't know about the vampires? She didn't warn you?"

'_Ugh. Why is that girl still here? She may be a witch, but surely an amateur at best? Hasn't she done enough damage last night by getting herself discovered? Don't they understand the immeasurable repercussions of involving mere civilians? The council would not-'_

"I believe she asked you a question Wesley."

"Well…I-I…we didn't have the chance to discuss the possibility of revealing our strategy at that _exact_ moment. However, I thought that it was a completely valid tactic to provoke the opposition, it would weaken their resolve if they were discombobulated by a surprise turn of events."

"Sooo…you just wanted to gloat."

She was in her most intimidating pose, anger poured off of her in constant waves. Her muscles clenched unconsciously, the primal slayer in her raged to be freed. If he wasn't too busy being afraid of her, he would have admired the utter beauty of the power she represented.

"What? No! That wasn't-…I… it wasn't-"

She was right, but wrong at the same time. He didn't want to gloat at the Mayor, the twisted demon may have been evil, but he didn't have a personal vendetta against him. _They_ were the ones he wanted to provoke. He wanted to see the look in their faces when they realized that they've been duped. The precious Scoobies outsmarted by the very people they thought were beneath them. All he really wanted was a little respect.

"Oh save it Wesley. Are you certain that last night wasn't another act in your ruse?"

A tired sigh escape from his lips as he thinks that he'll never get that respect now.

"Yes. I'm certain. If it was, she would have come to meet me. She didn't."

There was immense sadness in his tone. But it was only because his brilliant plan was now ruined. Not because of the girl that grated on his nerves endlessly when they worked together, the girl who called him Weasley, stained some of his books and papers with pizza stains, rang his phone at _ungodly_ hours to scream her greeting, then proceeded to annoy him with the most sarcastic of comments about how her nightly spying went. He was definitely _not_ sad about losing the girl who could make him feel like a dirty old man, and an innocent little boy in the span of three seconds. The girl who could have eaten him out of his own home, the girl who stole his pocket money before leaving almost every night after they had a meeting. And no, he did not _intentionally_ put an extra ten dollars or so in his wallet. …It was simply an absentminded mistake.

No. He was not sad about that. About her.

Good riddance.

"Maybe she got tired of being in cahoots with someone as annoying as you."

Xander was on a roll. He was angrier than he expected. Sure, Faith tried to strangle him, but nobody, deserved to be so harshly used. His big heart can just not fathom the thought of sending someone so injured, so _broken_, into the direct line of fire.

"That's quite enough Xander. What about her encounter with Willow last night?"

"…She knew Willow was investigating inside the building, I warned her of your plan, she said she'll stall as long as she could before she apprehended her. As for her encounter with Angel at the mansion, I eavesdropped on your clandestine meeting. We knew about the warlock that anchored his soul. She intentionally divulged all the information she knew. She said she was fortunate that the Mayor believed her about being _played_. There were vampires trailing her and Angel, and she had to keep acting, otherwise they would have informed the Mayor. In the end we decided not to…"

He glanced up at Giles fleetingly. He couldn't take the steely glare for more than a few seconds, so he stared he back down at his lap, looking so much like a schoolboy in trouble.

"Not to what?"

"_She_ wished to forgo revealing our plans to you. And I agreed. She said later that the security was suffocating her. That she couldn't meet with me as frequently anymore. We agreed to meet after the trade off last night. But as I said, she didn't come."

He squirmed in his seat, and fought hard to sit still. He was stiff and uncomfortable, but he refused to slump down in defeat.

"Did she tell you of the tasks she did for the Mayor?"

"No. I did not ask."

There was no shame in his voice. He was doing his _job_. Do they not appreciate the hard work he's done?

"Why am I not surprised?" Buffy asked.

It could have been considered a growl. The slayer was getting even angrier by every answer that was spoken. Here was a man that utterly used a person, a young girl, _Faith_, like a mere tool. She couldn't understand how anyone could claim being on the good side after doing something as heartless as that. She just didn't understand at all.

"We agreed that she would do what she had to."

"What the hell does that mean?"

Buffy couldn't form a thought, she didn't want to. She knew if she did, all she would see would be Faith stabbing a man, a human being. And she didn't want to see that anymore.

"Simply that she would do what she had to."

There was no emotion in his voice. He was getting good at his job.

The slayer couldn't take it, if she looked at the smug glint in his eye one more time, she didn't want to find out what she'd do. The rage in her was mounting at a terrifying pace.

Fortunately for her, she still had a watcher that knew how to placate the rage in her soul. Giles glanced at his charge, trying to send her some calm through the warmth and understanding in his gaze. As he looked back at the young watcher sitting in the chair, his stare was cold, hard and unforgiving. It was almost frightening how fast his eyes changed.

"Wesley, did you give her a permission of any sort related to slaying?"

"Simply that she would do what she had to."

This time, there was a hint of anger in his voice. He was getting annoyed at the righteousness in all their eyes. Ironically, the Scoobies were angry at the righteousness in _his_. Maybe there would have been more progress if there were no one being righteous at all.

"This is going in circles."

Fortunately someone in their group didn't have a righteous bone in his body. Even when it turned into a werewolf three nights a month.

Everyone looked at Oz who was sitting in his usual laidback way.

"Move on. Time is of the essence. Or so I've heard."

And he was right. They had more pressing matters to discuss rather than stay on a topic everyone was way too stubborn on. Maybe they'll get a chance to talk again when there wasn't an apocalypse breathing down their necks.

"He's right. We have to deal with the Mayor first. Then we'll deal with Faith."

His brown eyes sought the slayer. Giving her all the comfort he could give.

"When we get her back."

She looked at the emotion in his eyes, thinking how lucky she was to have someone love her so.

'_Thank you, Angel.'_

And how unlucky he was that she might not have that kind of love for him anymore.

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	7. Chapter Six

**A/N: **Thanks for the reviews! I'll update again as soon as I can.

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**Chapter Six**

The moon was shining down upon her. The shadows were warning her of darkness. The soft breeze was calming her soul. She soaked everything up and reveled in the power of the night. She clenched her muscles and honed her senses.

The soft rustling of the bushes to her left corner caught her attention. Her face betrayed nothing. She kept up her casual stroll, and dared whatever creature was out there to attack.

And it did.

It was just a regular enough vampire, nothing special. The vamp tried to grab her from behind, figuring his speed and strength would startle her and give him an upper hand. He was obviously a newbie. She bent and threw him off of her immediately, easily.

"Slayer!" It was a voice that seethed with malevolence, yet there was an underlying fear.

He jumped back up at her with fury in his punches. She dodged and blocked without breaking a sweat. A glint in her eye said she was gonna win. She was sardonically toying with him, but he was too arrogant to admit defeat and run.

He caught the edge of her chin with one of his desperate hooks, and the smirk on her lips turned dangerous. He was smart enough to be scared for a second. She coiled her muscles like a spring, and attacked with no mercy. She was wild and unapologetic. She fought with fierce strength and utter brutality. It was impossible to be graceful and fight like that at the same time. And yet, there she was. Just _beautiful_. She danced a most dangerous dance, and she was having a blast. The deep pounding of her heart made her feel so _alive_.

This was it. Everything she ever wished for, hoped for, prayed for.

A reason.

A reason to exist. To live.

She was the chosen one.

But it was a false reason. _She_ was false. A glitch in the process by the powers that be. For what would be the point of being the chosen one if there were two? And of course, she just happened to be the second one.

'_The other one.'_

What reason is left for her now?

Slayer or no slayer, she's always known deep in her bones that she was born to fight. Through all the bad and the down right shitty, she always knew that there was something great out there waiting for her. However, things didn't go the way they were supposed to, somewhere along the way someone screwed up. Someone died, and someone didn't. Now she's left alone, not knowing which way is right, or who can be trusted.

Was she destined to stand still on the very edge of a cliff and wait numbly to be pushed or pulled?

She took pity on the now bloodied vampire and flipped out her stake. She didn't bother to give him a witty quip or a snarky pun. It was never about them in the first place. She staked him, and for a moment, just a fleeting moment, she felt sorry for the person that he was. She has, after all, a bigger heart than she would have wanted.

She expertly twirls the stake in her hand and starts her casual stroll once again. Her thoughts unconsciously wander throughout everything she's ever been through. All the things she'd done. The things that's been done to her. All the people she's met. All the people she shouldn't have loved.

'_More owed than owing.'_

She thinks about the Scoobies. The events that happened. The words that were said. The people that were hurt. Alan Finch.

She falters in her step. The very thought of him gave her shudder of disgust.

At herself.

She knows she'll carry the stain of his blood for the rest of her life, she didn't need a brooding vampire to tell her that. She knows what she's done. She killed a human.

'_But did they have to be so…'_

They overwhelmed her with words of murder and consequences and innocence. They were too overbearing.

'_Too damn much.'_

She was still coming to terms with what _she_ has done, not what it will mean for everyone else. Not what the watchers would do, not what The Council would think, not how Buffy would feel. She was thinking about herself. Who else would?

She got scared, but she would never have admitted it. She still wouldn't.

She admits though, that she's sorry. Sorry for Alan Finch, and sorry for hurting Xander. It's a damn shame that no one would probably know that. Not after last night.

She falters in her step yet again. Her heart immediately flared in anger.

She thought about Wesley, and the smug look in his eyes when he revealed their _brilliant plan_. She thought about the utter fear that he represented when he realized how stupid he was to have done so. She thought about the Scoobies, their reactions, their faces. The disbelief and the suspicion. They looked at her like a circus freak. They let her stand there and just watched in twisted fascination for what she would do next, while subtly readying to defend themselves if she goes berserk. She thought about the Mayor and how he coaxed her onto his side. She thought about how clever he was to perfectly manipulate her.

All those thoughts only feed her anger, and she shatters an innocent bystander with one strong kick. She curses herself for killing the epitaph, and quickly walks away before anyone could discover her little mishap.

'_Getting arrested for vandalism is not on my to do list tonight.'_

Her lips curl up in a small smile. It was the smallest of smiles, but the sincerity in it was what made it so beautiful.

'_Been there, done petty shit like that.'_

It was an earnest moment, and its a shame how reality had to inevitably ruin it. The smile barely dropped from her lips for it was barely there in the first place. Her anger flared up once again, but not as ablaze as before, and she can think more clearly now. It was a damnation of sorts, to be gifted with strong emotions. That was her biggest weakness after all, feeling too much. Saying anything otherwise was a bold faced lie, but she would never admit things like that. Not even to herself.

She gets her thoughts in order and thinks of what's next for her. Anyone who'd happen to glance at her right now would see a tough looking girl casually strutting around without a care in the world. Its a wonder how appearances could be so wrong, and yet so right at the same time.

She looks at the watch in her left hand. It had a black leather strap with a thick buckle, and a large titanium square face with funky looking numbers and hands and had little buttons on the side. It was an expensive rocker watch that the Mayor bought for her.

She's never worn watches before because she's always thought of them as one-handed cuffs to responsibility. But when she saw this one, with its rich black velvet box, the tag that said _made in italy_, and the overall coolness of what was probably the most expensive thing she's ever been given, the first word that came to her was _wicked_. The second word was _pawnshop_, luckily for her she didn't say it out loud in front of the Mayor. He really got a tick about it too, and wanted her to wear it at all times because one of his pet peeves was not being appreciated. Another of his pet peeves, she was sure, was tardiness. He didn't say it out loud, but she read it in between his words all the same.

She thinks about how smart he was to have wrapped her one-handed cuff under something so pretty.

'_Kudos for bullshitting me so well.'_

She bestows the night with one of her little sincere smiles again, evidence of her fondness for the demon, and considers the time on her left wrist. She takes a little note out of her pocket and grimaces as she reads the words she was relentlessly persisted to jot down herself.

_To do:_

_1. Give message to head vampire, Danilo. Done._

_2. Check Sunnydale High's parameters for graduation. Done._

_3. Pick up poison from K'haralk. Done._

She reads number 4 and unwittingly thinks about her destiny. She rolls her eyes at herself for her melodramatic thoughts.

'_Spent way too much time with the superfriends.'_

She idly wonders what her watcher would think of her now. She decides she doesn't want to know. The dark slayer sighed a heavy sigh and set off to do another job for her so-called father figure.

_4. Professor Lester Worth. _

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	8. Chapter Seven

**A/N: **Thanks for the reviews guys. So sorry for the delay, but college is breathing down my neck. I have all these ideas in my head, but I'm having a little bit of a hard time putting them on paper. I'll post the next chap as soon as it's ready. Thanks for the nice words!

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**Chapter Seven**

They were all huddled around the table. Anxious and grim with the knowledge of what was done. Of what cannot be forgiven.

"Its not her."

She was as defiant as she could muster. But even the defiance of a slayer was no match to the obvious truth.

"Buffy…"

The redheaded witch was saddened about the turn of events, but she didn't understand the heartbreak that was so clear in her best friend's eyes. She turned her gaze to the paper yet again, rereading the abhorrent words of victims, suspects and murder.

'…_a dark haired woman was seen entering the premises of the Professor's home…'_

'…_neighbors say they heard screams and a loud ruckus…'_

'…_blood all over the floor…'_

'…_no body found…'_

"She wouldn't have…" Buffy's voice trembled, she sought the watcher standing by the corner, quietly begging him to agree. To say something. Anything.

He was more than surprised that she would turn to him, especially at a moment like this. He cleared his throat, shuffled his feet, but he did not speak. How could he? He was suffering with emotions he did not imagine he would have. _Should_ have.

"Would she?"

The blonde persisted. If anyone would know, it would be him. She pierced him with her gaze, asked him to placate her raging thoughts.

"I…"

"Wesley?"

"…I wish I knew for sure."

And he really did. He wished he knew a lot of things, but none more so than this. He didn't even dare think of betrayal, for he knew he had no right to. The responsibility of his charge's well-being rested on his shoulders, and he failed in that aspect miserably. The hardest part was knowing that it wasn't him that was ultimately suffering. After all that was said and done, he wasn't as hard and tough as he wanted them to believe, and he was tired of pretending.

"Wesley, if you know some-" Giles tried to implore, but he was cut off before he could finish a word.

"I don't. If I knew anything that would help-…_help her_, I would say so, but I don't. I'm sorry."

The sincerity was almost overwhelming. Wesley may have been a lying weasel, but he wasn't being one now. They all saw it, and they all let it go, for the time being.

Angel brooded in the corner of the library, as was his usual place. Through 250 years of living he can safely say that he's never met anyone like Faith before. The fierce tenacity in her aura was something he's never known. Although he's given and experienced hell, he's never been as weak as Faith has been, nor as strong. After all, he can't say that the young Liam in him could suffer as she's suffered, and still come out stronger than anyone expected. Reading someone has never been as hard, and Angel knew that they couldn't accomplish anything by simply contemplating.

"We have to talk to Faith. It's the only way, or we might really lose her." The vampire's voice was solemn yet firm.

"I agree, but what about the Mayor." Now, more than ever, Giles wanted the Mayor's head on a silver platter. Enough was enough, and the Ripper in him was begging to be released.

"We could check out the professor! I mean, there had to be a reason why Fa-… the Mayor murdered him, right?"

Willow flinched at the slip in her own words.

"Yes, quite right Willow. Xander, Wesley and I will look around his apartment while you check the records. Buffy, you and Angel find Faith. Do what you can, but do not coerce her. Let her make her own choice. Understand?"

Buffy nodded her affirmation at her watcher's orders. Her heart beat faster the instant the thought of seeing Faith came. There was just so much that she wished to say, and some of them she knew she never would. More than anything, she wished that Faith would have the heart to lie, because she didn't know if she could take the truth.

Angel came up to Buffy while Giles instructed Wesley and the rest of the scoobies.

"Buffy, are you okay?"

She sighed a heavy sigh, but still perked up as best she could.

"I'm…I will be. Once we get this over with. The craziness of everything is just catching up to me, and I'm still a little…I don't know."

The souled vampire nodded just like she expected he would.

"I understand. Everything will be okay, I believe in you."

She thinks that maybe she needed someone _she_ could believe in. It scared her that she doesn't think that person was in the room.

Angel coaxed her into his arms, and she noted that he wasn't cold, but he wasn't exactly warm either. She buried her face onto his chest, but the disappointment didn't come as it always did. There was only acceptance. Angel isn't human, and he most likely would never be human.

Every time she fantasized about a life they could build together, they were always out in the sun with pure happiness shining out of their souls like a beacon to heaven. She realized right in that moment in Angel's arms, in the stuffy library and the scoobies in the background, with Faith lurking in their subconscious, Buffy realized that she could never be happy with Angel. She realized how much she truly loved him, and just how much that she couldn't.

A moment such as this should have lasted longer than a minute or two. But it didn't. Because Buffy had more important things to do at that time, than cry over an inevitable realization.

She pulled away from Angel, gave him a brief loving smile, and went over to where the scoobies were discussing. Angel returned her smile and strengthened his resolve. He thought of his own fantasies of their life together for the last time. He shoved those dreams deep in the recesses of his heart, and gave them up. There was no more hope for them. The blonde slayer's eyes made that clear, she knows it now.

She knows that they can never be.

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	9. Chapter Eight

**A/N:** Hey, for those asking, yes I'm planning to finish this. It's just taking a little time. Sorry about that, thanks for the comments though, keep em coming!

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**Chapter Eight**

Her heart was beating so hard she almost feared it would pop right out of her chest. Her breathing was harsh and ragged. The scenery around her was an incomprehensible blur, and the darkness did not help at all. The cold wind ruthlessly whipped at her skin as her feet pounded on the pavement. She ran as fast as she could, as long as she could. The hours flew by almost as fast as she did, and any ordinary man would have already collapsed long, long ago.

She ignored all the times her spine tingled within the proximity of a vampire or some other demonic creature. She had no time to play, all she saw was her destination.

Her doe eyes, wide and alert, almost filled with panic.

Her knees were aching like a bitch, her body was begging for rest, and she knew her energy was running out. But worst of all, she was getting extremely bored of the constant running. It's a wonder that she's even lasted this long.

'_Why the hell am I doing this again?'_

She couldn't seem to remember the answer right then. Still she ran, stopping will do her no good anyway.

She groaned at the sight of an uphill climb, but forged on and breathed a sigh of relief as she spots the civilization she was looking for. She slowed to a quick walk, figuring that the local officials would just love to get their hands on a suspicious looking girl who was sprinting around like a madwoman.

'_These mom 'n pop townies always love a little excitement.'_

The town was small, yet a little cheerier than she was used to. There were some people out and about, but not much. She glanced around the buildings looking for the landmarks she was supposed to remember.

The night air was colder than usual, and she can see her breath when she sighed in frustration.

'_Dammit, where is it?'_

She looked at the watch on her hand and inwardly smiled her fondness for it, until she saw the time and realized how late she was. She scowled in frustration. Temptation whispered in her ear as she looked around at all the cars innocently parked on the streets. However, she knew she couldn't ever risk being stopped over on the highway for driving a stolen car. As far as transportation goes, she knew she had to do it by the book.

She kept her quick stroll as she tried to find her goal. The streets were annoyingly unfamiliar, and she had a hard time not kicking over trash cans in exasperation.

It was after half an hour later that she found the place she was searching for.

The bus station.

She stepped up to a stall and paid for her ticket. Her clock was ticking, and she had less time than before. The driver of the damn bus better be a speed junkie, otherwise she would readily overlook the risks of grand theft auto and drive herself.

She got in her designated bus and picked a spot at the back. It felt like hours later, thought it was only a few minutes, before the bus finally started to move. There were few passengers, the whole bus wasn't even halfway full. The light above the seats at the front flickered on and off, and oddly enough, there was a distinct smell of wood in the somewhat rusted bus. The hum of the vehicle was loud enough to keep some of its passengers awake, but quiet enough that some could get lost in their thoughts.

And _she_ was lost indeed.

With all of that's happened this past week, anyone else in her position, slayer or no slayer, would have probably done everything they could to run to the other side of the world and hide until it all ended. Still, she's fighting tooth and nail, sometimes quite literally, to right what was wronged. Nobody else would understand what all of this means.

Means to her.

She looks down at her hands and stares at the blood stains that only she's able to see. An ache deep in her chest causes her to take a deep breath. Her eyes start to droop, and she can't seem to remember the last time she slept, or ate for that matter.

She winced as she noticed the time on her watch. She was later than she expected, she idly wondered what would happen if everything was divulged today because of her tardiness. If that ever happened, she would _not_ be a happy camper.

She thought back to her little adventure several hours ago, and she just smirked at the hilarity of it all. No one would expect all of this from her. And that was what made it all worthwhile. The look on their faces as she strolled around wearing the grandest prize. She could almost see their utter surprise.

The first shy peaks of the sun caught her attention, she looked out the window and took in the beauty of the scenery. It was hard not to be in awe of the magnificent sunrise. It was times like these that she graciously pitied the undead, for they would never have the privilege to witness the dawn of a new day.

Her thoughts suddenly wandered to Angel.

She flinched.

Her chest ached again, and she unconsciously took in another deep breath.

The souled vampire was and probably will always be a sore subject. His words to her after the accident would have hit directly home, if she wasn't too busy freaking out about being chained. Then there was Wesley and his council goons.

'_Idiots.'_

She was seriously tempted to punch the naïve watcher's face in when he arrogantly approached her after the run in with Mr. Trick. Her restraint was something to be admired at that point. Her thoughts ran rampant as they always seem to when she's sitting for too long in one place.

The sun has halfway risen, and it gave the road an almost ethereal glow. Strangely, it made her think of Professor Worth.

She only smirked in amusement.

Her destination was approaching, and some of the taller buildings are already in sight. She notes the time with a smile. Apparently the bus driver _was_ a speed junkie, they made good time. She sighs in exasperation as she realizes all the work she still has to do. She never did like planning, it made the thought of failure even more daunting than usual.

She idly wonders what Wesley is up to. She decides she doesn't want to care.

The sun has fully risen now, and it bathed everything in the purest rays of light. Her rambling thoughts ceased, and she stared at the sky. She breathed in, calm and deep, and it felt good. She listened to the hum of the bus, the murmurs of the passengers and the steady beating of her own heart. Her eyes felt warm from looking at the sun for too long, but strangely it didn't hurt at all.

And just for a moment, she felt peace.

Her eye caught the sign on the side of the road.

'_Welcome to Sunnydale'_

Back at the hellmouth once again.

* * *


End file.
